Yes!

Life should be fun!

I'm not one to have a pity party and if you think that's where this is going it's not.
I seem to find a way to pull positivity out of any situation.
But man the hard hits in life just keep on coming.

The cool part is some of those hits are home runs.
Yes, I am a white black man.
Yes, I would love to have the chocolate brown skin I had in high school.

A little of my pigment is coming back.
And I am continuing a new treatment that is working.

But I need to be healthy and that's the most important thing I must keep in mind.

I have new challenges.
And I face them without fear, but while I was running yesterday I found tears coming down my face.

I didn't really understand why.
Yes, it's hard to face challenges that seem bigger than you.
Yes, I am doing my part to not only stay in the game, but achieve.

But I don't think that wasn't the reason I cried.
I'm really not sure but the tear came when I looked at the football field and smelled the grass of a beautiful summer day.

My heart was immediately back in High School cracking jokes between plays during football practice with Kelly James and my man Greg Edison.
We had no money, no great jobs but there were few worries and we managed to find so much fun!

I actually missed my youth!

And I realized It was never coming back.
Ever!

So I made a promise to myself as I turned the next corner on the middle school track where I run.
I made a pledge to live my life with youthful eyes.
And that made me smile as the tears faded into sweat and I finished my run.

Yes, life is fun!
And our challenge is to consciously work at keeping it that way... no matter what!

Another Time... Please!

I saw her for the first time last night.
It wasn't what I thought it would be. She was at choir practice with her church. And I was just watching as she tried to get the lyrics to a song right. It was a part with her in solo. A spoken part but she couldn't get it right. And one guy just kept trying to correct her. After about the fourth time I couldn't take it any more.
"Stop picking on the lady... man!"
"I just want the song right!" He said back in a stern voice.
"Maybe would could practice the lyrics outside, I can get you right!" I said back in a stern voice.
I could feel my nerves taking a shot of adrenaline. I was already trying to figure out in my mind, which is the best point of attack. He looked like he was in good shape. So, maybe I should try a fake punch counter. Maybe he had some skills more than me and I should let him show his lead then fake fear and then counter. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. I was there, you know, in that place -- where you have to hit something. It might as well be this jerk yelling at my mom at choir practice.

Then I woke up.
It was so real, I was still angry.
It took a couple of minutes for it to fade.
Then reality washed over me like walking outside into bright sunshine.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love.
I was just glad to see her. She looked happy!

Why did it take so long?
My mother has been dead for at least four years.
This is the first time I have seen her in my dreams.
I had so much I wanted to say... and I wasted that time talking to some jerk.
I will see you next time mom.
I miss you soooo much.