Lasting Change!!

Now, is the time and day when people pledge to begin a new.

They... we make these resolutions that are lofty on the onset but reality, time and consistency quickly become reason for no change.

My resolution is simple.

I pledge to come up with a schedule of change. 

I will write in down and try over the next 12 months to achieve my monthly goals.

That is realistic for  me. A schedule of change that is achievable. 

Not a drastic and whole change of life, but a gradual and more lasting change that by the end of the 2011 will achieve what I hoped to change on the first day of the new year. 

Let the fun begin. 

I will post my year of change here. 

Follow and participate if you like.

"When is the time for change"

True change seems to be more difficult the older and more set in my ways I get.

Facing challenges can be daunting. Is it age or effort... to much age and not willing to give enough effort. 

I am faced with what has been the most challenging choices in my life.

I have a great life and I am very comfortable. But to gain something more I must change some of the very fabric of my own existence. 

And at this point in life I don't know if I am willing to do it.

I definitely want it, but can I do the work that is necessary to get where I need to go.

Have you asked that question?

Is it a lack of motivation or inspiration?

I use to take more risk.... calculated risk but risk non the less.

2011 will be the year to calculate, risk and be rewarded.

Keep my eyes on the prize and take it one hour, one day, one week at a time.

The time is now.

Time!

Time!

Does it really heal all wounds. No! There are gray areas. 

It only heals the wounds that we can work through in our minds and hearts. 

If you simple just put it away, the same feeling will be there waiting for you.

Time along with applied thought and open minded understanding can heal all wounds.

And in some instances, time to just think before you speak can give you the strength or advantage you need to triumph in any circumstance.

Time if a gift. 

It's how you use it that counts.

Lee

The Struggle

I believe I will win this fight. 

And all of my dreams will soon be my reality.

And that's my thought process most of the time. 

But I have been struggling to overcome an unyielding foe, that will not let go.

No matter what I have tried. And no matter how far I have gone.

Like any battle you learn from the past to adjust your plan and keep going.

You only really lose when you quit.

But do you lose or just delay the game. 

When you stand on the sidelines and can't make yourself get into the action your not losing but your not winning either.

Enough with the sports references. 

I feel like I have been on hold and I cannot muster the strength to get back in.

Have I lost my drive.. my inspiration to fight?

And if I have, where is it? 

Because I need to finish this journey... NOW! 

And that is my struggle.

I have all I need to launch one more battle in the war.

And I know I will eventually win as long as I don't give up.

But doubt, that evil foe, doubt is my struggle.

I must fight past the doubt and try anyway.

I will stay strong.

I will fight on.

As soon as I get off the sidelines.

As long as I don't give up there is always hope.

And hope beats struggle any day.... EVERYDAY!

Life: The Understanding

When a relationship comes to an end, no matter how, no matter the relationship, if it's someone that you love, you are left with many emotions.

It's weird. It's just like when someone dies, even if you had time to spend with that person or if you tried to ask every question or touch on every subject, and savor every embrace. When they are gone you still want more.

We say "we miss them", but it's more than that.

Part of you seems to have gone, and yes you can try and replace it with something else, but it will never be the same.

IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME and that is the truth.

There are things you use to do with that person and conversations that only you and that person could have that will never come back.

There are the memories, the cherished memories.  But I think we miss those new moments that will never be. The ones that could have warmed your heart, that bit of advise that always seemed to help you make the right decision came from that person and that person alone.

I didn't cry when my mother died. 

It wasn't until after the funeral.

A month or so after and I was back at work. 

I had just missed a fight at LAX and it was going to be at least a 3 hour layover.

So, I did what I always do.

I got a little something to eat.

And found an electrical outlet near a seat and sat down. I went through my movie selection and found the one to watch. I got out my blue tooth ear piece to make a phone call, sat down a did what I use to do on every layover. 

Started to call my mom to let her know that I was okay and how my latest business trip when.

I even pushed the number and the phone started ringing before I realized what I had done.

I sat there lost for a few minutes. 

If my mom wasn't there to know that I was okay, did anyone care? 

Who would tell me to be careful on the flight? 

Where was she? 

Heaven had to be the place, but I didn't really have the number.  

I started to pray but I really wanted to hear her voice. 

.

.

.

.

I find that even now years later I still cry for my mom.

It's just like the time she left me at Mrs. Hamilton's house for the first time. 

I didn't think she was coming back and I cried hard. 

.

.

The fact that she's not coming back still hurts.

As I try and fail at many different relationships in my life I realize how special that woman was to me. She was part of me and I know that I carry her with me everyday.

My daughter looks more like her than like me. 

I love that.

And as my daughter begins to talk to me more and more I realize that my mother was the personification of love.

And that love lives on in my daughter.

Her eye sparkle with everything my mother ever said to me.

And the wisdom that my mother gave to me, I will pass on to her.

With all of the added experience my mom fought so hard for me to have.

My mom had these kind brown eyes, and some how she could convey so much with just a look.

My daughters eyes are brown.

Life!

I understand.

I look in her brown eyes and I understand

WHERE?

Sometimes your just lost!

Trying to figure out what to do? Where to go? And how to get there?

I struggle with growth and self development.

And at times, I feel stagnant. 

But I know that you have to go through every emotion, try to understand how it got there and how to grow from it. 

The most important thing is to learn to except the truth, no matter how hard or unbelievable it may seem at the time.

Make yourself understand how that emotion or feeling found it's place in your consciousness.

Understand where it came from.

And soon you will know exactly where to go.

Hopefully that realization with take you to a better place... mentally and emotionally.

THAT'S WHERE!

The Time that counts!

The measure of a persons strength can be shown at all times.

Each decision a person makes can tell so much, but the real barometer is taken when times are tense.

Anger is such a easy place to sit back and lash out at what ever the injustice may be. You get caught up in that wave of strength and power that is unleashed by the trigger that set off this storm cloud of emotion.

But the true measure of a man or woman is not the boisterous triad. It's the ability to have the emotion and still have a controlled and salient conversation.

I don't know if I am right, but that feels right.

Because anger never got me anywhere, but measured thought, empathy and respect have.

I am not saying don't have the emotion, but have enough strength to go back and give the positive feedback and love.

And try to do it with the same intensity airing on the side of love that you felt when you displayed anger.

I was talking to a friend and they said to me, how do you remain so positive all the time.

And I said, I don't. I go through the same if not more intense emotions as everyone else.

I just try to finish all of my interactions with others in the spirit of love. The same mood I would like to get back in return.

I don't always get it, but I try.

And in the effort, my dignity and self worth remain intact.

I believe I have found the key!!!!

Your thoughts are powerful things.
Before there are any realities there are thoughts or ideas.
I have a idea that is a belief that just has not come to pass yet.
It is this one positive and enduring state of being that I see for myself that just hasn't materialized.
I believe it will all of my conciousness, but that has not made it happen.
Now, I understand better why it has been so long in coming.
In the sea of thoughts that one has in one given day.... say 60,000.
It there are 59,999 negative thoughts about why this one positive thought will not happen then it get effectively drowned out. It literally swallowed by negativity.
I must fight for that change. I need to surround this lone positive thought with allies.
Now, I am not saying we have 60,000 different thoughts in our heads every day.
A lot of these ideas or thoughts are the same one playing over and over along with the same positive thought struggling to get through, swimming against the current. It's not giving up or giving in just struggling to be.
Be heard, be relevant... be one of the many thoughts that turns into actions and those action turn into change.
I believe that if I change that pool of thought from 80 percent negative to positive.... to a lake of positive over negative the change that I so desperately want will happen.
I know it will.
I believe that I have finnally found the key.
May it open doors for you as well.

The Challenge

I find myself looking for inspiration.

I feed off of it.

I need it.

Sometimes it can be the blue clear sky that let's me know that this life is so precious.

I find thankful thoughts and peace from a clear day. I am at peace in so many ways and that is where the problem lies.

A beautiful day inspire me to ponder, enjoy and be passively thankful.

I need to be motivated to change. I want to grow and accomplish goals.

I feel like I am standing at the door with the key in my hand and just not using it.

I am facing many struggles in life that take my time and attention away from a journey that I need to finish.

I need something to inspire me to push forward.. to reach out.. and continue.

I am not afraid to ask the universe for some direction.

I will go through the door at some point.

The only problem is... it's not so bad on this side of the door either.

So, the challenge I find myself faced with is... I need a reason. One big enough to ignite the passion and inspire that change.

NOW!!!!

Tough Stuff

I am constantly trying to get better in many ways. And even though I have small victories and some success. I have just as many failures. It is during those times that I have categorized as "failure" that I believe you can learn.

I'm doing my best to not look upon them as bad, but it is hard.

"I want, what I want, when I want it."

It should be the mantra of the american mindset.

I just want to succeed. Not just anyones definition of success, but I want to succeed at what I believe I want and or need.

The simple truth of the matter is what I think I want and or need may not be what is best.

You have to look at what is given and taken in life, and use it to provide the only thing that will guarantee success in any situation and that is simply happiness.

Willie or Will He?

I began this blog with a specific point.

A reason.

I strongly believe in he power of the written and spoken word.

And I try to be very honest, clear and decisive in my communication on television or in print.

I know that brings about truth, sometimes those truths are hard to face.

But speaking the truth will make a person deal with the reality of your own world.

So, let me get to the point.

This blog is called WillieTransform.

My name is Lee Willie Thomas Jr.

I am the 4th son and six child of Lee Willie Thomas Sr. and Ethel Britt Thomas.

The title of my blog is a question and a statement at the same time.

It really depends on your perspective.

I believe the title is a statement of truth.

And I want people to witness my change.

As I face this disease and win.

"Willie transforms right before you very eyes."

And you can walk with me as I change. I have done years of research about living healthy and I believe that trying all of these different things and theories I have come up with the help of my doctor will give me the conclusion that I want for my life.

Willie transform is a statement and a command to myself.

But there is no truth without doubt and after I chose my title I quickly realized that "willie transform" could also be a question.

Will he transform?

A question leaves room for failure.

I don't like giving light to ideas that are contrary to my hopes and dreams. And I won't give this much time. But the possibilities are real and that is my challenge to overcome.

It's the internal struggle we all face... trying and failing, but never giving up.

Staying in a positive place is one of the most important thing about change.

When no one else believes it is up to me to fight.

I must fight for my dreams.

It's the way I have always lived and succeeded in life.

On my blog... I promise that I will always be honest and truthful, no matter how difficult this become.

I also believe that there is strength in numbers.

We can all help each other stay on the road to success.

If you face a challenge in life, know that I am fighting for myself and my family.

Happiness is contagious, but so is anger and discontent.

This will be a happy place. A blog to refuel and find strength to continue.

It can be yours as well.

I will remain Lee Willie.

Will he transform?

With support... our answer will always be a resounding "YES".

An Angry Man's Woes

Your chest starts to swell. And sometimes your hands and voice shakes. Your eye become intense in their glare and your heart begins to race.

Anger is real and really difficult to deal with.

It makes your thoughts clouded and your judgements fast.

And many time anger can lead to regrets.

I would love to say,"I never get angry".

But I do.

Now, I have found a way to get past my own anger and let the positive feeling back in before it ruins my day.

Positivity promotes healing.

I am

Sometimes life can get very hard.

I am a man that is on TV everyday while living with a disease that is constantly changing the way he looks and those changes continue in dramatic and shocking ways. On top of that I am a realist. I force myself to deal with the realities of any situation. I may loose all of my pigment and turn completely white. It's a real possibillity. And the way things are going probable.

I don't want that to happen. There is a slim possibility that I may repigment. It's not looking good right now, but possible. Or is that small possibility just what I want.

But that doesn't seem to matter.

I try different things and get disallutioned about my efforts. I continue some. I give up on others and all the while the disease keeps coming.

It sucks. It hurts. It's hard to keep trying to solve.

But in the mist of it a couple of things remain constant.

One, I feel like I will have a break through and be on the other side of this one day soon.

Meaning, and let me be clear, I feel like I am going to get my pigment back.

Two, I also have learned to live with this well.

I forget that I look different more than I remember. That's new.

Now, this stuff may seem crazy. But I really believe I will figure it out.

So, being the realist that I am.

And I am.

You know, I'm a "face the facts kinda guy".

I have to ask myself, and perhaps the world through this blog,"AM I CRAZY?"

It really doesn't matter what people say, I have always believed certain things about myself.

I believed I was not only going to get a job in TV but it was going to be in New York City.

I have worked there twice.

I believed I was going get a college degree.

I paid for it myself but done.

I believed that a beautiful women would love me, pigment or not.

And she does.

I also believe that I will get my pigment back.

No cigar..... yet.

I am a rational thinking man. I can face up to things and live with reality. But I also know that you can make your own reality. I know that I cannot give into a life without pigment.

I don't know if I will ever give in and just let it win. I doubt it.

I also know the answer to the question, "am I crazy?".

We all know it's a resounding,"YES!"

And I am okay with that.

I am crazy.

I will never give in.

I am happy.

I am sad at time.

I am

I am

I am

are you?

A Critic's Choice To Never Give In

I was recently at the Critics Choice Movie Awards.

It was one of the most fun experiences that I have had in Los Angeles.

I am very thankful and fortunate. I get to travel to Hollywood and interview stars on a regular basis for my job. It's very cool, but this trip was special.

I am part of the critics association and as a member you get ticket to the awards. I thought my seats would be in the back and I would get to see some of the stars from a distance.

No!!! I couldn't be more wrong.

I was sitting at table 7. It was the Avatar table. Yes, James Cameron and his wife along with the producer and his wife, the head of the studio, a VP from the digital effects company that helped make the movie and me with my sister as my date.

It was great.

Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers was the house band. I was four seats off the stage.

Wow!! I was shocked.

Anyway, "IT" didn't come up.

You know... that uneasy feeling that I get when I know people may not shake my hand because it's a different color than my face. Or the pause I take before I gage the reaction of people to my make up as it starts to come off during a long day. I am encouraged because those fleeting moments of sadness are truly just moments and not minutes or hours or days for that matter.

I have come a long way, and this disease has changed.

It has gotten much worse, but I got better.

Much better at handling the inner struggle.

I don't harbor any ones negative projections or sentiments.

I let them go as quickly as they come.

Plus, I have trained my mind and heart to let go and not judge.

It has given me strength. The inner strength to continue living a full and happy life and to continue letting go with out judgement.

As I shook James Cameron's hand congratulating him on his multiple wins,

I felt like, "THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!"

Not because I was next to such a great man and I am not trying to take anything away from his many accomplishments. But I was the conquering king of my inner struggle.

Everyday I wage emotional war with this disease.

And on the night of the Critic's Choice Movie Awards at the Palladium Theater on Sunset in Hollywood I won one battle.

Even if the struggle continues, I know that I am equipped with the mental ammunition to fight and win. Because I know that I will never give in.

Fear

I feel like I am on the verge of change.

And Yet I am afraid.

I am afraid that I will not be successful.

I am afraid I will stay this way until the day that I die and when people look into my picture or coffin they will see this multicolored face that has become the definition of me.

I am afraid that it may get worse and that I will be a white/black man through eternity.

I am afraid that all of my belief and strength could have been for nothing.

I am afraid of the possibility that this is a game that I cannot win.

My fear has multiple side. I also fear success. I may re pigment and then all of the people that have followed me and supported me will disown me. The many supported all over the world that I have come to represent will no longer think I understand them or they may think that I am no longer like them.

I feel a responsibility and love toward them. I'm afraid of losing their support.

It would be tough.

Now, I have journaled and researched and studied.

All of that information has brought me to a regiment of change.

I believe that all I have to do is implement this regiment and watch the changed come.

I know I can do it. I know it will work and the changes will come.

But I have fear and doubt.

It's funny because I thought writing this or saying it out loud would be my demise.

BUT IT IS NOT!!!

Saying out loud inspires me to go on.

So, I say to you... fight through your fear and that alone will give you the strength to go on.

Eyes Wide Open

Inspiration is all around you.

Recently I had to go into talk to my boss about an issue that was troubling. I had gone over the conversation in my mind. I looked at a few of my self help books. I even tried to get some advice from a friend. Nothing or no one seemed to have the right answer about to how I should treat this situation.

I wanted to make sure that I went into the meeting with the right frame of mind. I was little angry and upset about a conflict I had encounter on the job, but I didn't what to let my emotion rule the conversation. That's not a productive way to resolve and issue.

I ultimately just wanted to make things better and I didn't want to cloud the issue with my own selfish emotions. If I were at fault I wanted to acknowledge my part in the situation and improve my actions moving forward. That's a lot of corporate talk just to express that I just wanted to make it right.

But I really didn't know how to approach the conversation with my boss.

So, on the way her office, I saw a random co worker and friend.

So, I said to him,"If you could give me a word of the day that would inspire, what would that be?"

Naturally he said "are you serious?"

I said,"yes".

So, he wrote a word down on a piece of paper ripped it from his pad and handed it to me. I said thanks and walked away still worried about the coming conversation.

Right before I enter the office I opened the yellow scrap of paper.

It was one single word written in pencil,

"HUMBLE".

As soon as I read the message all of the tension was gone. The anger was released and I knew exactly how to approach the situation.

The meeting went well and I walked out feeling better about my work world.

I'm not telling you to go to all of your co workers or friends and ask for a piece of paper to depict your future action.

But I am saying this... inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes.

And it can come from the strangest of places.

So, keep your eyes open and ready to receive.

A Death Before Dying

As I get older many of my friends and family are starting to die. I don't like it and it's hard to take. They are gone and I miss talking to them or walking with them or sitting down around a meal or a living room and sharing life stories with them.

And that made me remember what life is...

It's sharing and engaging, helping and caring. It's about being there and making memories.

I know people that have this disease and because they get mean looks or off color comments they lock themselves in and don't come out of their homes.

These people had active vibrate lives that completely change because of an emotional traumatizing disease.

This is like killing the life you've had for a half life defined by fear and self loathing.

Don't do it.

Find a way to change your self image.

For me.. I believe my face looks like the mask of a super hero.

And it was hard to get back to a normal life but I worked at it.

Now, I am back 100%.

Don't give up the things you love because you got a disease that you cannot control.

The more people see you, the more people get use to seeing you.

Don't kill the life you have before it's time.

Live!!

Weathering The Tough Days

Some days are tougher that others, but you can not only make it through it.

There are ways to turn tough into triumph.

The problem is of the mind.

Stealing a line from Sam Shepard.. It could be "a lie of the mind". Every time something that may seem challenging happens, I automatically think the way I look has something to do with the way I am treated. It can be as simple as a dis concerning look from a pretty girl or a uncomfortable look at my hand before shaking it.

You take all of those little things and they start to add up to a "why me day".

But the truth of matter may be different.

The truth is maybe people actually look at some one's hand before they reach, to know where the hands will meet and the shaking will take place.

And maybe the girl is tired and her look was one of a girl who is looked at by men all day... no matter what the men look like.

The truth is there could be a multitude of reason, but most time we chose the reason that makes us feel bad about ourselves.

Bad Choice!!!

Fight for your positivity.

And even more important... read this carefully.

It doesn't matter what other people think.

And these people or negative vibes may come from people that are close to you. Love them but don't let there words go to a negative place.

The world is all of ours and no matter what you or I look like. We all have the right to be out in public and enjoy all of the gifts this life has to offer.

The truth is don't worry about the looks or the stares.

Don't make up reasons for other peoples actions... especially reason that give you a negative view of self. The more time you allow this to happen, the more ammo you give yourself for self pity, depression and isolation.

There is love.

There is fun.

There is life.

And no matter how rude or abrasive, kind or loving others are it's up to you to interpret it and delete or enjoy the interaction.

Build your solid self image based on all the good things you are rather than gather fuel for self destruction.

This sort of self 'mind manipulation' is just another battle in the internal war.

And you must fight these battles everyday to win your full and happy life.

Live on my people... LIVE ON!!!!!!

The Fell Clutch Of Circumstance

Life is fun.

It's challenging.

It's everything you need it to be to become the best person you can be. I firmly believe that situations present themselves, and you place a label or definition to that occurrence. You just fall into a set of circumstances and the measure of a man or woman is defined by how you define and react to those situations.

"Today at work my co worker was way out of line" already a tone has been placed what happened. There is a negative cloud over some ones actions. In order to understand and grow I am constantly challenging myself to look within. I start with my reaction or the emotion that I felt in the situation before I label any ones actions... even my own.

When you search, why that phrase, tone or situation elicited that reaction from me, you focus on yourself first. It gives you a better understanding and an opportunity to grow. Before you address the other persons action or the other person.

I borrowed a line from William Ernest Henley poem "Invictus" when I labeled this post. And I understand how you can find yourself falling into a set of circumstances. It's a place you fall into and are forced to deal with. You may feel like you did nothing to do create the situation but every communication has two parts. Some times there are passive parts but there is alway a lesson and culpability. Anyway when it becomes challenging or hard to maintain your composure or emotions. You may find yourself struggling to simply keep you head high and your spirits up.

I challenge you to look at this as an opportunity to grow.

Nothing is bigger than life, family and health. Anything else you label as a problem is just something that happened. Don't let it define you.

Having a disease is a tough situation.

I look at it as an opportunity to learn about health... my health. And then take that knowledge and get my body as healthy as I possibly can... with the help of a doctor of course.

I eat a better diet!

I found a physical activity I love!!

I changed my attitude toward others!!

And more important I changed my attitude toward myself!!!

Like W.E. Henley's poem says.

"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul"

So, make it happen... captain!!!!

Fight For It

In life there are a few things that are easy to fight for. And I don't mean physically fight but if it came to that most men would not hesitate for to start punching for the lives of there family or children. But there is something that effects both of those aspects of your life and much more that most people don't even begin to fight for.

And that is a positive attitude!!!

When we were kids most of us were happy-go-lucky, ready to sing or dance or even smile at the simple things in life. Now, finding you happiness may be a little harder with all of the struggles of modern life but it is more important than ever to not give in to a negative emotion.

They build on each other and a bad moment can become a bad afternoon.

The afternoon of negativity can turn into a bad day.

The day can become a bad situation... bad job... and eventually bad life.

Stop it at the bad moment and don't let it build.

Fight to find the positivity in every moment.

It's there you just have to find it.

Pull the positivity out of the moment.

"I may have stubbed my toe, but at least it's not broken".

"I may have recked the car but at least no one is hurt".

Bottom line life is the gift. You have the opportunity to change your whole situation at any moment.

Don't revel in non satisfaction.

Don't feel comfortable in disarray.

As long as you have breath you can change the situation.

Sometimes finding good may be hard but fight for it and find it.

A Simple Choice

Life is full of surprises. A disease can be one of them. I call the one that changed my journey, the gift of disease. Now, I want to be clear. I don't want to offend or belittle anyone who suffer from a debilitating disease. I understand and lend support to your struggle. But changes in your body that force you to slow down and respect each moment of life can be looked upon as a good thing.

That's what I chose to do.

And even bigger than that... the true gift of life is the opportunity to change. I don't just mean your underwear or your mind but a true life change. Do thing differently. If you do the same things in life you will get the same results. If you want a different outcome then do different things.

And the more serious the disease, the bigger the change.

How big?

Diet!

Lifestyle!

Diet!

Mental attitude!

Physical activity!

And Diet!

I'm not telling you to change you job, for some that is not possible.

But I am telling you to change you attitude or view of that job. Instead of a looking at your job as a rut or grueling routine, look at it as an opportunity to squeeze fun and enjoyment out of a task you actually get paid to do.

I'm not telling you to change the people in your life.

But I am saying find that physical activity that you love to do, it can be simple as walking or as big as joining a hockey or volleyball league. Then shut off the TV and do it for at least one hour a day. You can actually take a friend or a loved one with you and that can be your time.

And finally, I am telling you change your diet.

There are plenty of diets out there just address a multitude of diseases.

They work.

Don't stop seeing your doctor, but do drastically change your diet. You have been eating one way for a life time and look where it has gotten you.

Try for at least 90 days to drastically change your diet.

Physical changes will follow and that will be your fuel to continue.

If there is one thing that became clear to me when I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. It wasn't there are so many things I still want to do. It was that wanted to live to see my children grow. I wanted to love them and watch the love grow.

I didn't even have kids at that point. I was in my late 30s and live a life that was singularly focus on career success. And I never thought life would end before I had kids and a family. But the disease seem to put an end to my life or at least my quality of life that I couldn't deal with.

So, I said I would do anything to change that end if it give me one more day with my kid.

I drastically changed. Diet, attitude everything. It took time.

Now, years later I am here and I live a normal healthy life with a very healthy diet.

My daughter is 18 months old and I am thankful for every moment I have with her.

Moments a disease tried to take from me.

It's a simple choice.

Change and watch your daughter grow!!!

A simple choice that I'm glad I made.

Solitude becomes me

There is strength is silence.

There is power in calm.

There are places that need to be found.

And these places are within. The chatter of the mind can cloud your journey.

And therefore solitude is where you chart the path.... make the plan.... find the strength.

Win the war before it is even fought.

There is strength in silence.

Solitude becomes me.

Here's how this works

A long time ago in a land that seems very far away... that always sounds good but here the real poop. I use to live in NYC. I was under a lot of stress, I am making long stories short on this blog because I don't want to get bogged down.

Anyway, when I lived there I had chronic fatigue and a nagging back pain that could become piercing. I knew that was my body saying something was wrong. So, I listened. I started changing my life, but the back pain never went away. I went to several doctors and chiropractors only to finally end up at an internal medicine specialist. After requesting a colon exam, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I saw the video of my colon. Wow!

The diagnosis was the answer I needed. There is always an answer in books. It took me a while but I found and followed the right one. It was a book from a man that had the disease and conquer it. It was called,"Patience Heal Thyself". Which eventually became,"The Makers Diet". It took about four years but I am free of Crohn's.

Now, the entire time I have had another disease called vitiligo, but while the Crohn's was going this one was gotten worse. But I never stopped looking for the book or remedy that would fix it. And I have come across a few, but not a book. So, I began to gather my research. Hopefully this can become the guide for people with vitiligo.

I am going to detail all of the things that I am doing to cure myself, much like what I did with the Maker's Diet. I will use supplements and non traditional treatment to achieve my goals. I am very hopeful and positive that something will happen. I believe I will reach my goal of a cure. But I will blog no matter what.

I will tell you the things that I did to change my life.

First I did my best to eliminate stress.

Second I drastically changed my diet.

Then I researched with the help of health professionals the problems that could be causing this disease. And the foods, supplements and vitamins that have been proven to help.

I narrowed all of these things down to a specific diet/supplement regiment that I am trying now.

I will detail this process more through out the year.

The Beginning of Change

It is the first day of the year 2010.

And I have designated this my year of change. I just started this blog. And I will continue to use it as my journal. The moleskin journal that kept my thoughts and notes got stolen with a lot of my belongings. So, now I will blog here and still keep and hard copy of my thoughts just in case. It was violating getting my personal things taken away. I thought it was the world working against me. But I know now that the only thing that can stop me is me. And I will not stop. My name is Lee Willie Thomas Jr. I am the four son and the sixth child of Lee Willie Thomas and Ethel Lois Britt. I am some what of a media darling for about 12 1/2 minutes of fame, but they were fleeting and unsatisfying and only captured the shocking part of my journey. When I feel like the journey is just begun. If you want to know that side of the story just google turningwhite. But here is where the real work begins. I had a disease that doctors say is not curable. It was Crohns. And now a doctor told me that it is gone. And all I did was drastically change my diet and my life. And I didn't use traditional meds. It took 9 years but the disease that could have killed me is gone. Now, I have a shocking and emotionally destructive disease, vitiligo. It's still a tough thing to deal with but I am strong. And even more than that I am determined to win. I have done years of research and change and it has lead me here. The disease is the worst it has ever been. And I feel that I am closer that ever to beating it. I just need the strength to finish the job. And also to document my journey for others to follow. So, this is where the documentation begins.

I will blog. And I will fight. And at the end of this year we will take an assessment of the battle.

WillieTransform or Will he transform

Let the fun begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!