Yes!

Life should be fun!

I'm not one to have a pity party and if you think that's where this is going it's not.
I seem to find a way to pull positivity out of any situation.
But man the hard hits in life just keep on coming.

The cool part is some of those hits are home runs.
Yes, I am a white black man.
Yes, I would love to have the chocolate brown skin I had in high school.

A little of my pigment is coming back.
And I am continuing a new treatment that is working.

But I need to be healthy and that's the most important thing I must keep in mind.

I have new challenges.
And I face them without fear, but while I was running yesterday I found tears coming down my face.

I didn't really understand why.
Yes, it's hard to face challenges that seem bigger than you.
Yes, I am doing my part to not only stay in the game, but achieve.

But I don't think that wasn't the reason I cried.
I'm really not sure but the tear came when I looked at the football field and smelled the grass of a beautiful summer day.

My heart was immediately back in High School cracking jokes between plays during football practice with Kelly James and my man Greg Edison.
We had no money, no great jobs but there were few worries and we managed to find so much fun!

I actually missed my youth!

And I realized It was never coming back.
Ever!

So I made a promise to myself as I turned the next corner on the middle school track where I run.
I made a pledge to live my life with youthful eyes.
And that made me smile as the tears faded into sweat and I finished my run.

Yes, life is fun!
And our challenge is to consciously work at keeping it that way... no matter what!

Another Time... Please!

I saw her for the first time last night.
It wasn't what I thought it would be. She was at choir practice with her church. And I was just watching as she tried to get the lyrics to a song right. It was a part with her in solo. A spoken part but she couldn't get it right. And one guy just kept trying to correct her. After about the fourth time I couldn't take it any more.
"Stop picking on the lady... man!"
"I just want the song right!" He said back in a stern voice.
"Maybe would could practice the lyrics outside, I can get you right!" I said back in a stern voice.
I could feel my nerves taking a shot of adrenaline. I was already trying to figure out in my mind, which is the best point of attack. He looked like he was in good shape. So, maybe I should try a fake punch counter. Maybe he had some skills more than me and I should let him show his lead then fake fear and then counter. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. I was there, you know, in that place -- where you have to hit something. It might as well be this jerk yelling at my mom at choir practice.

Then I woke up.
It was so real, I was still angry.
It took a couple of minutes for it to fade.
Then reality washed over me like walking outside into bright sunshine.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love.
I was just glad to see her. She looked happy!

Why did it take so long?
My mother has been dead for at least four years.
This is the first time I have seen her in my dreams.
I had so much I wanted to say... and I wasted that time talking to some jerk.
I will see you next time mom.
I miss you soooo much.

Today is the beginning of something new.
I am changing things. My diet is the beginning.
I am excited. But the challenge is to remain excited.
I am documenting the whole thing.

The power of change is one of the biggest. It's better to change how you want when you want rather than to have to deal with changes that are forced on you. Either way you can take the opportunity to evolve into something better.
Let's do it!

It's time!!!
I feel like I have been waiting to change. I know a lot of the qualities that I would like to have to attain more happiness. And believe me I am a happy guy, but there are things you leave behind as you move forward in life. You say to yourself, "I have a good life. I am comfortable, so it's okay to give up on that dream".  And that is absolutely true, but why not go for it all, no matter what your age. If this is the only ride you get with life, why not continue to shoot for the moon.
I am...
Will you?

The Dream Challenge

Everything is changing.

And I love change. It forces you to come up with new/better/innovative stuff.

I have come up with some great ideas and then gone to work and never picked them up again.

Today... that changes.

I have an idea and I promise to follow it to it's natural conclusion.

I am going to do that.

And I challenge you to do the same.

And as they say worse come to worse you are no closer than if you never even tried.

But if this little exercise simple inspires.

It can trigger hope, promise... or maybe it will inspire us to dream again.

That thought alone brings a smile to my face.

Change! Inspire! Dream! I'm in... are you?

By the way, I never thought I would ever go to Moscow... but things changed. :-)

First Task:Game plan

You have to have a plan before you can play the game.

Today, I am writing down my goals for this year.

So many exciting things have grown from many of the seeds that I planted in the last few years on a day like today.

My book came from a goal setting day.

I tour the country as a motivational speaker, sharing my story and inspiring people to live there best life - another goal achieved.

Some of the best new opportunities in my life are real today because I made them a goal on a list of many other goals I sought to accomplish.

Now, my lists always include many things I wanted to achieve in my personal life and in my career. 

I would write down these things. 

I also write down under each goal ways I could accomplish it. 

Now, I don't accomplish most of my list each year. 

And I don't feel bad about the things I don't do.

I relish in the ones that I do. 

Why is it easier to beat yourself up, than to praise and take stock in your accomplishments.

Every year when I try to make these goals realities, some of them become more clear and real than others. 

And Yes!

I do go back to old list and revive some goals from the past, maybe timing is better now. 

If you have a list of 10 things and 20 ways to accomplish them. 

If you get one of them done.

You are ahead of the game. 

Have fun dreaming up your goals, enjoy the thought of getting them done!

Feel that new energy of inspiration and build on it with a realistic plan of accomplishment!

If there are naysayers, don't share your plans with anyone but me and the comments on my blog!

Keep your list close to your heart!

I will share some of mine as the year continues!

This will be fun and exciting.

This weeks task is to WRITE THE LIST!

Lasting Change!!

Now, is the time and day when people pledge to begin a new.

They... we make these resolutions that are lofty on the onset but reality, time and consistency quickly become reason for no change.

My resolution is simple.

I pledge to come up with a schedule of change. 

I will write in down and try over the next 12 months to achieve my monthly goals.

That is realistic for  me. A schedule of change that is achievable. 

Not a drastic and whole change of life, but a gradual and more lasting change that by the end of the 2011 will achieve what I hoped to change on the first day of the new year. 

Let the fun begin. 

I will post my year of change here. 

Follow and participate if you like.

"When is the time for change"

True change seems to be more difficult the older and more set in my ways I get.

Facing challenges can be daunting. Is it age or effort... to much age and not willing to give enough effort. 

I am faced with what has been the most challenging choices in my life.

I have a great life and I am very comfortable. But to gain something more I must change some of the very fabric of my own existence. 

And at this point in life I don't know if I am willing to do it.

I definitely want it, but can I do the work that is necessary to get where I need to go.

Have you asked that question?

Is it a lack of motivation or inspiration?

I use to take more risk.... calculated risk but risk non the less.

2011 will be the year to calculate, risk and be rewarded.

Keep my eyes on the prize and take it one hour, one day, one week at a time.

The time is now.

Time!

Time!

Does it really heal all wounds. No! There are gray areas. 

It only heals the wounds that we can work through in our minds and hearts. 

If you simple just put it away, the same feeling will be there waiting for you.

Time along with applied thought and open minded understanding can heal all wounds.

And in some instances, time to just think before you speak can give you the strength or advantage you need to triumph in any circumstance.

Time if a gift. 

It's how you use it that counts.

Lee

The Struggle

I believe I will win this fight. 

And all of my dreams will soon be my reality.

And that's my thought process most of the time. 

But I have been struggling to overcome an unyielding foe, that will not let go.

No matter what I have tried. And no matter how far I have gone.

Like any battle you learn from the past to adjust your plan and keep going.

You only really lose when you quit.

But do you lose or just delay the game. 

When you stand on the sidelines and can't make yourself get into the action your not losing but your not winning either.

Enough with the sports references. 

I feel like I have been on hold and I cannot muster the strength to get back in.

Have I lost my drive.. my inspiration to fight?

And if I have, where is it? 

Because I need to finish this journey... NOW! 

And that is my struggle.

I have all I need to launch one more battle in the war.

And I know I will eventually win as long as I don't give up.

But doubt, that evil foe, doubt is my struggle.

I must fight past the doubt and try anyway.

I will stay strong.

I will fight on.

As soon as I get off the sidelines.

As long as I don't give up there is always hope.

And hope beats struggle any day.... EVERYDAY!

Life: The Understanding

When a relationship comes to an end, no matter how, no matter the relationship, if it's someone that you love, you are left with many emotions.

It's weird. It's just like when someone dies, even if you had time to spend with that person or if you tried to ask every question or touch on every subject, and savor every embrace. When they are gone you still want more.

We say "we miss them", but it's more than that.

Part of you seems to have gone, and yes you can try and replace it with something else, but it will never be the same.

IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME and that is the truth.

There are things you use to do with that person and conversations that only you and that person could have that will never come back.

There are the memories, the cherished memories.  But I think we miss those new moments that will never be. The ones that could have warmed your heart, that bit of advise that always seemed to help you make the right decision came from that person and that person alone.

I didn't cry when my mother died. 

It wasn't until after the funeral.

A month or so after and I was back at work. 

I had just missed a fight at LAX and it was going to be at least a 3 hour layover.

So, I did what I always do.

I got a little something to eat.

And found an electrical outlet near a seat and sat down. I went through my movie selection and found the one to watch. I got out my blue tooth ear piece to make a phone call, sat down a did what I use to do on every layover. 

Started to call my mom to let her know that I was okay and how my latest business trip when.

I even pushed the number and the phone started ringing before I realized what I had done.

I sat there lost for a few minutes. 

If my mom wasn't there to know that I was okay, did anyone care? 

Who would tell me to be careful on the flight? 

Where was she? 

Heaven had to be the place, but I didn't really have the number.  

I started to pray but I really wanted to hear her voice. 

.

.

.

.

I find that even now years later I still cry for my mom.

It's just like the time she left me at Mrs. Hamilton's house for the first time. 

I didn't think she was coming back and I cried hard. 

.

.

The fact that she's not coming back still hurts.

As I try and fail at many different relationships in my life I realize how special that woman was to me. She was part of me and I know that I carry her with me everyday.

My daughter looks more like her than like me. 

I love that.

And as my daughter begins to talk to me more and more I realize that my mother was the personification of love.

And that love lives on in my daughter.

Her eye sparkle with everything my mother ever said to me.

And the wisdom that my mother gave to me, I will pass on to her.

With all of the added experience my mom fought so hard for me to have.

My mom had these kind brown eyes, and some how she could convey so much with just a look.

My daughters eyes are brown.

Life!

I understand.

I look in her brown eyes and I understand

WHERE?

Sometimes your just lost!

Trying to figure out what to do? Where to go? And how to get there?

I struggle with growth and self development.

And at times, I feel stagnant. 

But I know that you have to go through every emotion, try to understand how it got there and how to grow from it. 

The most important thing is to learn to except the truth, no matter how hard or unbelievable it may seem at the time.

Make yourself understand how that emotion or feeling found it's place in your consciousness.

Understand where it came from.

And soon you will know exactly where to go.

Hopefully that realization with take you to a better place... mentally and emotionally.

THAT'S WHERE!

The Time that counts!

The measure of a persons strength can be shown at all times.

Each decision a person makes can tell so much, but the real barometer is taken when times are tense.

Anger is such a easy place to sit back and lash out at what ever the injustice may be. You get caught up in that wave of strength and power that is unleashed by the trigger that set off this storm cloud of emotion.

But the true measure of a man or woman is not the boisterous triad. It's the ability to have the emotion and still have a controlled and salient conversation.

I don't know if I am right, but that feels right.

Because anger never got me anywhere, but measured thought, empathy and respect have.

I am not saying don't have the emotion, but have enough strength to go back and give the positive feedback and love.

And try to do it with the same intensity airing on the side of love that you felt when you displayed anger.

I was talking to a friend and they said to me, how do you remain so positive all the time.

And I said, I don't. I go through the same if not more intense emotions as everyone else.

I just try to finish all of my interactions with others in the spirit of love. The same mood I would like to get back in return.

I don't always get it, but I try.

And in the effort, my dignity and self worth remain intact.

I believe I have found the key!!!!

Your thoughts are powerful things.
Before there are any realities there are thoughts or ideas.
I have a idea that is a belief that just has not come to pass yet.
It is this one positive and enduring state of being that I see for myself that just hasn't materialized.
I believe it will all of my conciousness, but that has not made it happen.
Now, I understand better why it has been so long in coming.
In the sea of thoughts that one has in one given day.... say 60,000.
It there are 59,999 negative thoughts about why this one positive thought will not happen then it get effectively drowned out. It literally swallowed by negativity.
I must fight for that change. I need to surround this lone positive thought with allies.
Now, I am not saying we have 60,000 different thoughts in our heads every day.
A lot of these ideas or thoughts are the same one playing over and over along with the same positive thought struggling to get through, swimming against the current. It's not giving up or giving in just struggling to be.
Be heard, be relevant... be one of the many thoughts that turns into actions and those action turn into change.
I believe that if I change that pool of thought from 80 percent negative to positive.... to a lake of positive over negative the change that I so desperately want will happen.
I know it will.
I believe that I have finnally found the key.
May it open doors for you as well.

The Challenge

I find myself looking for inspiration.

I feed off of it.

I need it.

Sometimes it can be the blue clear sky that let's me know that this life is so precious.

I find thankful thoughts and peace from a clear day. I am at peace in so many ways and that is where the problem lies.

A beautiful day inspire me to ponder, enjoy and be passively thankful.

I need to be motivated to change. I want to grow and accomplish goals.

I feel like I am standing at the door with the key in my hand and just not using it.

I am facing many struggles in life that take my time and attention away from a journey that I need to finish.

I need something to inspire me to push forward.. to reach out.. and continue.

I am not afraid to ask the universe for some direction.

I will go through the door at some point.

The only problem is... it's not so bad on this side of the door either.

So, the challenge I find myself faced with is... I need a reason. One big enough to ignite the passion and inspire that change.

NOW!!!!

Tough Stuff

I am constantly trying to get better in many ways. And even though I have small victories and some success. I have just as many failures. It is during those times that I have categorized as "failure" that I believe you can learn.

I'm doing my best to not look upon them as bad, but it is hard.

"I want, what I want, when I want it."

It should be the mantra of the american mindset.

I just want to succeed. Not just anyones definition of success, but I want to succeed at what I believe I want and or need.

The simple truth of the matter is what I think I want and or need may not be what is best.

You have to look at what is given and taken in life, and use it to provide the only thing that will guarantee success in any situation and that is simply happiness.

Willie or Will He?

I began this blog with a specific point.

A reason.

I strongly believe in he power of the written and spoken word.

And I try to be very honest, clear and decisive in my communication on television or in print.

I know that brings about truth, sometimes those truths are hard to face.

But speaking the truth will make a person deal with the reality of your own world.

So, let me get to the point.

This blog is called WillieTransform.

My name is Lee Willie Thomas Jr.

I am the 4th son and six child of Lee Willie Thomas Sr. and Ethel Britt Thomas.

The title of my blog is a question and a statement at the same time.

It really depends on your perspective.

I believe the title is a statement of truth.

And I want people to witness my change.

As I face this disease and win.

"Willie transforms right before you very eyes."

And you can walk with me as I change. I have done years of research about living healthy and I believe that trying all of these different things and theories I have come up with the help of my doctor will give me the conclusion that I want for my life.

Willie transform is a statement and a command to myself.

But there is no truth without doubt and after I chose my title I quickly realized that "willie transform" could also be a question.

Will he transform?

A question leaves room for failure.

I don't like giving light to ideas that are contrary to my hopes and dreams. And I won't give this much time. But the possibilities are real and that is my challenge to overcome.

It's the internal struggle we all face... trying and failing, but never giving up.

Staying in a positive place is one of the most important thing about change.

When no one else believes it is up to me to fight.

I must fight for my dreams.

It's the way I have always lived and succeeded in life.

On my blog... I promise that I will always be honest and truthful, no matter how difficult this become.

I also believe that there is strength in numbers.

We can all help each other stay on the road to success.

If you face a challenge in life, know that I am fighting for myself and my family.

Happiness is contagious, but so is anger and discontent.

This will be a happy place. A blog to refuel and find strength to continue.

It can be yours as well.

I will remain Lee Willie.

Will he transform?

With support... our answer will always be a resounding "YES".

An Angry Man's Woes

Your chest starts to swell. And sometimes your hands and voice shakes. Your eye become intense in their glare and your heart begins to race.

Anger is real and really difficult to deal with.

It makes your thoughts clouded and your judgements fast.

And many time anger can lead to regrets.

I would love to say,"I never get angry".

But I do.

Now, I have found a way to get past my own anger and let the positive feeling back in before it ruins my day.

Positivity promotes healing.

I am

Sometimes life can get very hard.

I am a man that is on TV everyday while living with a disease that is constantly changing the way he looks and those changes continue in dramatic and shocking ways. On top of that I am a realist. I force myself to deal with the realities of any situation. I may loose all of my pigment and turn completely white. It's a real possibillity. And the way things are going probable.

I don't want that to happen. There is a slim possibility that I may repigment. It's not looking good right now, but possible. Or is that small possibility just what I want.

But that doesn't seem to matter.

I try different things and get disallutioned about my efforts. I continue some. I give up on others and all the while the disease keeps coming.

It sucks. It hurts. It's hard to keep trying to solve.

But in the mist of it a couple of things remain constant.

One, I feel like I will have a break through and be on the other side of this one day soon.

Meaning, and let me be clear, I feel like I am going to get my pigment back.

Two, I also have learned to live with this well.

I forget that I look different more than I remember. That's new.

Now, this stuff may seem crazy. But I really believe I will figure it out.

So, being the realist that I am.

And I am.

You know, I'm a "face the facts kinda guy".

I have to ask myself, and perhaps the world through this blog,"AM I CRAZY?"

It really doesn't matter what people say, I have always believed certain things about myself.

I believed I was not only going to get a job in TV but it was going to be in New York City.

I have worked there twice.

I believed I was going get a college degree.

I paid for it myself but done.

I believed that a beautiful women would love me, pigment or not.

And she does.

I also believe that I will get my pigment back.

No cigar..... yet.

I am a rational thinking man. I can face up to things and live with reality. But I also know that you can make your own reality. I know that I cannot give into a life without pigment.

I don't know if I will ever give in and just let it win. I doubt it.

I also know the answer to the question, "am I crazy?".

We all know it's a resounding,"YES!"

And I am okay with that.

I am crazy.

I will never give in.

I am happy.

I am sad at time.

I am

I am

I am

are you?

A Critic's Choice To Never Give In

I was recently at the Critics Choice Movie Awards.

It was one of the most fun experiences that I have had in Los Angeles.

I am very thankful and fortunate. I get to travel to Hollywood and interview stars on a regular basis for my job. It's very cool, but this trip was special.

I am part of the critics association and as a member you get ticket to the awards. I thought my seats would be in the back and I would get to see some of the stars from a distance.

No!!! I couldn't be more wrong.

I was sitting at table 7. It was the Avatar table. Yes, James Cameron and his wife along with the producer and his wife, the head of the studio, a VP from the digital effects company that helped make the movie and me with my sister as my date.

It was great.

Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers was the house band. I was four seats off the stage.

Wow!! I was shocked.

Anyway, "IT" didn't come up.

You know... that uneasy feeling that I get when I know people may not shake my hand because it's a different color than my face. Or the pause I take before I gage the reaction of people to my make up as it starts to come off during a long day. I am encouraged because those fleeting moments of sadness are truly just moments and not minutes or hours or days for that matter.

I have come a long way, and this disease has changed.

It has gotten much worse, but I got better.

Much better at handling the inner struggle.

I don't harbor any ones negative projections or sentiments.

I let them go as quickly as they come.

Plus, I have trained my mind and heart to let go and not judge.

It has given me strength. The inner strength to continue living a full and happy life and to continue letting go with out judgement.

As I shook James Cameron's hand congratulating him on his multiple wins,

I felt like, "THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!"

Not because I was next to such a great man and I am not trying to take anything away from his many accomplishments. But I was the conquering king of my inner struggle.

Everyday I wage emotional war with this disease.

And on the night of the Critic's Choice Movie Awards at the Palladium Theater on Sunset in Hollywood I won one battle.

Even if the struggle continues, I know that I am equipped with the mental ammunition to fight and win. Because I know that I will never give in.