Fear

I feel like I am on the verge of change.

And Yet I am afraid.

I am afraid that I will not be successful.

I am afraid I will stay this way until the day that I die and when people look into my picture or coffin they will see this multicolored face that has become the definition of me.

I am afraid that it may get worse and that I will be a white/black man through eternity.

I am afraid that all of my belief and strength could have been for nothing.

I am afraid of the possibility that this is a game that I cannot win.

My fear has multiple side. I also fear success. I may re pigment and then all of the people that have followed me and supported me will disown me. The many supported all over the world that I have come to represent will no longer think I understand them or they may think that I am no longer like them.

I feel a responsibility and love toward them. I'm afraid of losing their support.

It would be tough.

Now, I have journaled and researched and studied.

All of that information has brought me to a regiment of change.

I believe that all I have to do is implement this regiment and watch the changed come.

I know I can do it. I know it will work and the changes will come.

But I have fear and doubt.

It's funny because I thought writing this or saying it out loud would be my demise.

BUT IT IS NOT!!!

Saying out loud inspires me to go on.

So, I say to you... fight through your fear and that alone will give you the strength to go on.